Why couldn't Harry Potter get a job at Mc Donalds? Because he isn't real.

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Why was the girl crying? - Someone pooped on her face.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus !

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How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

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Roses are red, violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't you worry I'll be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had Gonorrhea.

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Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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Gay's

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Getting an STD. What's worse than mixing up the order of the joke and the punchline?

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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Why did the little girl fall of the swing? -because she had no arms Why didn't she get back up? -because she had no legs Why diddn't anyone help her? -because she was black.

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Q: what's the difference between a human and a gorilla? A: they can both talk, apart from the gorilla

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Why did the white guy sit on the bench while the black guys were playing basketball? His mother was calling, and his AP scores were coming in that day. Those scores were important to him.

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Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

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What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

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"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

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i died. new product by steve jobs

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I remember my grandfather's last words he said to me before he kicked the bucket...."Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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What did Kim Kardashian say when she got a breast implant? DERP!

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Billy was curious if gasoline burns, so he decided to...... .... O crap I'm late for Billy's funeral.

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Say silk 5 times. Silk Silk Silk Silk Silk Now what do cows drink? Water.

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Why is Tom Garrick gay Answer- Because he is

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Evolution is real. Why? Pikachu evolves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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