Johnny walked up to his teacher one day and asked her to explain to him how babies were made. She instead whispered back to him, "Let me show you". He declined, because he wasn't prepared to be a father.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

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When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

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yous are all f u c k i n g dumb like rat kavanagh

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Why don't you push a mexican off a bike, because its probably yours,

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get hit by a car

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Q:Why Did the Black people die in there car A: They were Homeless

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titanic vs 9/11 who would win? Well the titanic backwards is a ship which saves lives and 9/11 backwards is a building on fire spitting out airplanes

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knock knock whose there tim tim who just kidding its fred

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My friend Edward found a worm in his apple. Edward happened to be a lemur. Lemurs eat both plants and worms, so he ate them both.

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What did the little boy get for christimas? Nothing because he's a selfish asshole.

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What word is ten letters long and starts with gas? Gastronomy.

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What happens when Darth Vader farts? Nothing. Darth Vader's butt was burned off on the volcanic planet of Mustafar and he fell into a lava pit. Darth Vader has since started a program called Darth Vader's butt replacement research foundation. Please donate money today. You could be changing a buttless person's life. Thank you very much.

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Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

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8====D~~~~~~

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What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy running down a hill? Two good friends enjoying the countryside together.

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A man with Down's Syndrome walks into bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

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Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Brooklyn Nets or New Jersey Nets? Theres a difference

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why didn't paul ride the horse? he was busy

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Where did the people go after the bomb went off? EVERYWHERE!!!

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A hermaphrodite walks into a bakery, orders an eclair, then leaves.

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How do you trap a squirrel? You carefully set up a trap and place acorns in the trap.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops