Why couldn't the elephant ride the bike? Because it didn't have a thumb to ring the bell!

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing really, it just let out a little whine.

You are walking down the street, and a man keeps on getting in your way. You want to politely... Screw it already and stab him in the back

want to hear a cheesy joke? ... cheddar

How many dead babies fit in a car? Ask Casey Anthony, she'll probably know.

Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

When a blonde entered a bar, she ordered a something that was a double-entendre. The bartender understood what she was trying to say, gave her her order whatever alcohol she happened to consume, and the blonde woman could not have been more courteous.

Why did the Jew post a free link on his Facebook wall? Because it is funny and he hoped his friends would like it.

why doesnt jesus play hockey? he got nailed to the boards

doctor,doctor my eyesight is getting worse, you are certainly right, this is the post office

Why did the kid eat so much ice cream? Because he wanted to eat ice cream.

Why is the sky blue? As the light from our Sun shines into the atmosphere, most of the colors are able to reach the Earth’s surface uninterrupted. However, because blue light has a wavelength that is the same size as the particulates in the air, this light is scattered in every direction. This blue light bounces from particulate to particulate until it eventually reaches your eyes. For this reason, no matter what direction you look in the sky, it appears to be blue. This blue light originated with the Sun, was bounced around in the sky many times, and then eventually reached your eyes.

A man walks into a bar. He sees two horses, and about 15 other men in there which seem to have their own ethnicity and religion preferences. About 20 people on the sidelines were on anti-joke.com, writing down these jokes. About two leave at the same time, noticing that there is a horse in the bar. The man goes outside. Five swingsets are right next to each other, and some kids with no arms or no legs cannot swing. They are also being called names. An old adult is climbing a telephone pole with a backpack full of bananas. Also, a boy drops his ice cream after getting hit by a bus. And at the same time, he notices that most of these are better than the holocaust. He thinks, "do I live in Crazytown?" Well, he does.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm homosexual And so is my boyfriend Jeremy, with whom I have shared countless evenings of joy and laughter.

A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

s o m a a d i t u n y s n i t a c s d c ' s k h k s t o e l y e

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

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What's a Jew's favorite food? You would have to ask on an individual basis because it is unfair to say that all Jew's have the same favorite food

if you like, i will tell my crush maddy i love her, just kidding i wont do shit.

Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

The Detroit Lions

What do you get when you cross Sir Elton John with a sabertooth tiger. I don't know but you better keep it away from your ass.

what did the dog say to the mailman? woof.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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