please ignore the bottom two 'jokes' as they were written by josh carey and ryan danielz

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A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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Slam! Slam! Slam! I'm a woodpecker. Slam! Slam! Slam! Except with dirt.

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Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Alzheimer's Roses are Red

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A white man on his way to happens to sit next to a black man the following conversation involves a democrat and a repuplican arguing about obama's current presidentcy and the wallstreet journal the two do not agree on both sujects and part ways...the white man is later brutally murdered in his own house infront of white and children in an unrelated incident. We should all help to stop violence in our local nieghborhoods.

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Have you ever seen that really famous blind man's house? Neither has he.

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Republicans

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a white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy all jump off a building. they all immediately die on impact, later on the news white guy jumps off building.

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Why did the little boy have to go to the hospital? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a train.

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Susie fell of a swing and died Knock Knock Who's there Susie

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call me a bitch You're a bitch Only bitches do what they are told!

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A giant meteor will hit the earth tomorrow.What do you do? Tell everyone I told you so.

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What do you call a smart blond? A golden retriever!

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A panda walks into a bar... Psht. Panda in a bar, that's impossible.

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Knock Knock Come in. Thanks.

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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Why is it interesting to watch your mum shower? It's Not, its sick you pervert

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Q: What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? A: Popcorn Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? A: F'uck you -Ap

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Hey i heard You were a wierd kid ooooooooooalskdfjaslkdfj

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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An Irishman walks out of a pub. Just kidding.

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kkk

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69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *goes crazy and shoots himself*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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