Yo mamas so fat that she slowly had developed obstructive sleep apnea syndrome and had died due to an obstruction of her upper airway while she was sleeping.

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They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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What did the Democrat say to the Republican? "I am sorry about your mother". They had been good friends since childhood and the Republicans mother was soon to die from terminal cancer.

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What do you call a midget on the moon? A midget.

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There's two homosexuals having sex in the back of a van...........they're over 21 what's wrong with that!

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Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

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What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Nobody enjoys your company. Nobody likes your work. Nobody loves you. There is no person who's name is legitimately nobody.

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How did the fat man avoid getting dehydrated? Fat men don't excersise and therefore cannot become dehydrated.

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A. Knock Knock B. Welcome!

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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how do you stop a speeding vehicle? throw a refrigerator at it.

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What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

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Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

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Why did the white man go to jail? He broke the law.

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What do you call a person who dies in march A dead person

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Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I hit my head with a hammer!! Dont hit your head with a hammer anymore.

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What did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing. They're muffins.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costum

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Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

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What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

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What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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