What did the father give to his son with terminal cancer for his 5th birthday? Nothing the kids going to die anyway

Two men are fighting in a boxing match. One gets punched in the crouch, cries, and goes home to watch "The Simpsons".

Why did the man's motorcycle not move when the street light turned green? Because it was a filing cabinet.

I hate it when I try to put my gun on safety but I accidentally shoot u a school full of kid.

A blond went to a barber to get her hair cut. She had her ear phones in and tolled the barber not to take her ear phones out at all. So the barber was swiching her ear phones to cut her hair then she fell asleep so the barber took both of her ear phones off for a minute and then she died

What time is it? 10:58

what do you call a attractive blond haired girl who sings songs. pixie lott

Why didn't the chef serve the black guy his food? Because he wasn't a waitor.

A three and a half foot tall clown walks into a bar, it is quickly learned that he is only 8 years old and is excorted out by security.

What do you call a fat kid who eats twinkies. Otto Hintz`````

Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

What do a Penguin, and your best friend have in common? They'll both die if you shoot them in the head.

What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

... i forgot the joke :p

What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus? He got hit by a bus and died.

roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

Two Drunks walk out of a bar. They look down an alley and see a dog licking his balls. The first drunk says" Man, I wish I could do that." The second guy replies " Well you better pet him first."

why did the chicken cross the road? because the food source on its original side was running low, thus forcing the chicken to find other food options.

How do u put an elephant in a refrigerator? -open it up and put it in How do u put a girraffe in a refrigerator? -open it up take out the elephant and put it in All the animals it the world are at a party in Florida. Which one didnt go? -the girraffe, it was in the frige Your trying to cross a river. A sign says alligators everywhere. U have no boat and no bridges. How do u get across? - swim the alligators are at the party in florida

What did the foot say to the other foot? Nothing, because they are feet.

"My grandmother has AIDS. They are really nice ladies." -joke by comedian Daniel Cupps

the comment about daniel was fron brock

A guy who plays shooting games acquires an assault rifle but he doesn't kill anyone, why? Because he was a nice and peaceful man who loves his wife.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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