Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

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TWIX PAUSE!

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I'm wet Ew you perv.. Stop thinking like that ! I just took a shower.

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What's worse than molding bread? Babies in the toaster.

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What did Anne Frank do this weekend? Nothing. she died in the holocaust.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? yea, neither has he.

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What's red and smells like paint? Red paint.

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What is Debbie short for? She has no legs.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but GET IN THE VAN

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why was the man gay? Because its not a choice. its a lifestyle.

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What you reading? reading?

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Why, you might ask, did in fact the chicken cross this all too infamous road? His grandma-ma phoned the righteous bird and requested a visit. Chickens never displease their family.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple? I don't cum on an apple before I eat it.

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School

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What is the best kind of necro? Dead necro.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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On monday morning the doctor walked into a patient's room, then he walked out after a quick check up.

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Knock Knock Go Away

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Rudolf the rednosed reindeer died today. He was reported flying over Madrid when he was hit by a jumbo jet and a flock of seagulls. People are now saying that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

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If you have a large penis.give this joke a thumbs up. ( :

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What do a tree and a boy have in common? They both cry when you hit them with an axe... except the tree.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you accent is really not hiding it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops