Knock Knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who?

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Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. The man was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral service.

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What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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Why was the boy sad? He had just had his legs amputated and will never walk again.

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Guy 1: Hey, do you like fish sticks? Guy2: Yeah. Guy 1: Me too

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What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

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In Soviet Russia it is normally colder than america and most people speak russian.

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A man is lonely and calls a hooker. She goes to his house, pleasures him, and then demands 42 million dollars. The man shoots the whore and throws her body into a river.

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Miranda Cosgrove's singing career. ......Thats it. Thats the joke.

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Why Did the one handed man cross the road? To get to the dying man on the other side

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You wanna hear a joke? Me too

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Reality, we have come to install a doorbell.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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A fish swims into a wall. It does not say anything, seeing as fish do not possess vocal chords and therefore are incapable of speech.

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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Man 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Man2: Are you a tree? Man1: no.

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What do you call a donkey that can't speak? Whatever you want to call it...I prefer to call it a donkey that can't speak!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? it lost its footing why did the girl fall down? she was hit by four monkeys and a refridgerator

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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What did Frieza say to Vegeta after killing his parents? "I killed your parents."

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Why did Chad find dead people all over the playground? Ask him, it's not like he's pointing a gun at your face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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