A black man, a white man, and a Mexican walk into a bar. The bartender kicks them out because he doesn't have time for another crappy joke; as the bar is very crowded that night.

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Kids are cheering about the confetti at a birthday party, the mom says the twin towers just collapsed.

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How did the mecanic die? He drowned

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what did the bee do when bill tried to slap it it stung bill and died.

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What do you do when your phone goes off in class? Stay behind after class whilst the teacher takes off his pants and tells you do bend over a desk. This is your punishment.

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? The same amount as white people, stop being racist.

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Why did the little boy stick a fork in the electrical socket? Because he wanted to escape his abusive stepfather

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I was going to post some witty jokes, but then I realized they weren't funny.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What's great about taking a shower with a twelve year old girl. Pulling her hair back and making her look like a six year old

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Hey i heard You were a wierd kid ooooooooooalskdfjaslkdfj

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?. I dont know either it was dark.

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What's blue and can't sing? Blue.

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If a little boy teleported to mars how fast would he get there? Little boys are incapable of breaking down their molecular structure in order to send their individual particles faster than the speed of light in any given direction. Thus this question is illogical and can not be answered.

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There was a hundred dollar note lying flat on the ground. The homeless guy didn't pick it up and walked on because he didn't see it.

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Sticks and stones can break my bones Well maybe you shouldn't play in the tree anymore

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i heard something so funny it made me crap my pants you were a mistake

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knock knock? who's there? ted? ted who? stop f***ing around, you got cancer.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a dick just for you

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What do you call a smart blond? A golden retriever!

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If it wasn't for my horse I'd never go to college.

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Why do all black people look the same? They don't you're just racist.

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Womens rights

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares i dying from cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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