Why did the girl fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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" ding dong " person in side: wait aren't u supposed to knock knock

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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knock knock. come in.

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yo mamma's so fat, she decided to go on a diet

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Q. whats piggy called A. Patrick gearthey

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How do you say "Hello" in India? 1. Get a plane ticket and fly to India 2. Say Hello in India

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller have a baby? A: Because she is dead. ...I IS HORNY!

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Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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What did the martian say to the other martian when he saw a fire hydrant? "Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!"

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rose's are red, bananas are yellow, yo mama's so fat she jiggles like jello

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what is meaningless and not fun at all? that joke

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why did the frog cross the road? because he was attached to the duck

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Knock knock. Whose there? Not my house so not my problem. Frankly, I don't give a shit.

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Hey guys! Today is September 10th you know what tomorrow means? Party at my house! ...What? It's my birthday.

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Why did the zuccini fly? I was in an acid trip.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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Why cant helen keller drive Because shes a woman

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What did Batman say to Robin before going into the Batmobile? Get in the car.

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How do you kill the circus? You chop it's head off.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the chicken had enough of life and wanted to commit suicide due to recent tragic events such as his cheating wife, his druggie son, his prostitute daughter, losing his home, and getting fired

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Why can't Hellen Keller read, write, or do anything really? Because, shes a woman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because people have encroached on it's natural habitat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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