Emergency call: - Please help, my little son swallowed a condom! 5 minutes later - It is ok, I found another one.

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Why would you call a child douche bag? Cause they're sterile

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Quick its the weed hide the cops! ... wait...

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Sorry not thinking here, of course I will arrive sooner, give me 20 minutes or so (got to scout the area, you never know) As for coding, there is no hidden meaning so yeah... That is probably some "Neronist" coding format I never knew of I am using so well. Cant drive like this, so I will use a cab and wait for you at the back seat or something, I will let the Taxi cab honk the numbers of code here so you can come out knowing its safe. I sincerely thought you where at the home, according to our coordinates you are... Dont tell me that bastard built some basement over there, wow! I really miss him now, if nothing else because I would have liked a wine cellar made in less than... Sorry, ill be there asap, 20 minutes or less, nah, believe me, "fancy" is the least of things I want, and I wont be changing my mind anytime soon. See ya. I am sincerely surprised you even remember me, then again I look a lot like your crush. Abel (in case you where wondering, this is not my name either, but you get the picture by now)

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They say those with anti-humour are the wisest.

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Is it possible to mix an answer to a question with another? No. Aids are perfect for fear training.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know I'm not a mind reader.

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go up to some one and say "i told you it would happen" with a straight face and walk away. it should cause a LOT of confusion.

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Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros? A: Merriam-Webster defines "cross" as "an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience." This comedic exercise is one such affliction.

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What do you get when you mix a dog with a pool table? I don't know.

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Greg told a joke. It wasnt funny...

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i was driving home after work but i had to stop because an old lady wanted to cross the road..... the old lady was abused by her father as a child, and had Alzheimer's

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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Why did the Indian homosexual shoot his dog? Because it was old

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You want to know how I got these scars? A horrible knife throwing accident.

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Brooklyn Nets or New Jersey Nets? Theres a difference

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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How old is Batman? Old enough to be a bat.

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shauns beautiful

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Q:What would strawberry short cake never say? A: Very

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What's the difference between a duck

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you know what rhymes with sloth. rape

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what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

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There's a fine line between hyphenated words

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops