How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? She said she can do 3

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What do you call a black man on your front porch? -Racism is a serious and non humorous problem.

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Why did the man spill his coffee on his daughter? Because he is dying from Mad Cow disease so his hand experienced a traumatic spasm.

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Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

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What's better than being in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why do people eat babies? Because they're delicious.

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So tell me what’s worse than a baby? A dead baby… Well then what’s worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a pile of dead babies? A live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies? A live baby eating it’s way out of a pile of dead babies…

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what did batman say to robin? get in the car

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Why was the crazy person allowed to leave the asylum? The ombusman's report will be on your desk this morning minister.

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A panda walks into a bar... Psht. Panda in a bar, that's impossible.

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HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

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What did one Lacrosse player say to the other? Let's touch shafts

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Knock Knock! Come in the door is unlocked. I have cookies!

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Two guys walk into a bar. One man walks out of the bar at a similiar time.

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What's wrong with Barney? He's big and purple.

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Why does a black man have a bicycle? He bought it with his own money.

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What did the woman say when she lost her purse? Where's my purse?

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Interrupting kid with ADHD" *I did not respond, as I knew he would interrupt me before I was able to finish the sentence.*

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he was dead

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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what do you call someone who hates jews anti semitic

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i heard something so funny it made me crap my pants you were a mistake

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Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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