What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

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I see said the blind man to his def wife as the dog with no legs ran over

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How many Aumish farmhands does it take to operate a state of the art commercial laser-cutter? One,provided he has the relevant training and experience.

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Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Never mind, that was a stupid question.

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A black man named Lawrence was driving a car that wasn't his at 3 a.m. The car belonged to a drunk friend who asked Lawrence to be the designated driver.

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A little boy ran to the pool to see how long he could hold his breath. He slipped and fractured his skull.

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i put the STD in S.T.u.D all i need is U!!! F_CK all i need is U!!!!!!! o.0 lolzzz

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What walks on four in the morning, three at noon, and two at night? A baby with leprosy.

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Q: What did Yoda do at the end of star wars when he lost his light saber? A: He asked the prop guy if he had any more and he happened to have another and they went on with making the great film many still love today.

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raisin boogers

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Chuck Norris once walked into a strip club, and had quite a nice time indeed!

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Why did the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

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What did the disabled boy get on Christmas morning? Cancer.

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What do you get if you take the head off a Koala and a Wombat and swap them around? A bloody mess and about 4 years in jail.

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What did the runner say after he ran 10 miles? I just ran 10 miles.

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Yo momma so fat, she has hypertension, diabetes, and a higher risk of heart disease.

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Why can't you fly? Cause Ruddell says so.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why couldn't the mexican get a job? He was seven.

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why do some Jewish people have big noses? There religion doesn't affect the size of there nose it really depends on genetics, like the if there parents had a big nose, or a small one would probably affect the size of a Jewish person nose

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A ginger was with his friends

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Whats worse than a pile of dead baby's? Being raped by a giant scorpion. Well that escalated quickly. Also i'm gonna call the cops.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She just graduated university and thought she would celebrate with a beer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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