1100110001012....HOLY S@&$ A 2!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Three months to live. Three months to live who? The C-Scan showed a massive, inoperable tumor in your brain that's been developing for years. You have only three months to live.

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whats up fuch you bitch

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Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

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Two men walk into a bar. It turns out the bar was a lever and set off a bomb. They both died.

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A lawyer gets admitted to a bar.

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what did the cat say to the monkey meow then he got hit by a car

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Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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Knock Knock Nobody answered because the people in the house were away.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

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In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

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Why should you never trust anglers? Because they're always into fishy business... Why should you never trust hunters? Because they carry loaded guns...

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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"Want to hear something ironic?" ...he said to the deaf man.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm colorblind.

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Okay, one second.

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kieran scott has a huge back

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

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What is the anwer to life? (>^v^ )> KIRBY DANCE

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he does what he wants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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