roses are red. violets are violet...

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What's a fun thing to do on a plane? Make a bolt to the pilot, smash his brains in with a iron pipe and make the plane plummet a few hundred feet with a maniacal laugh until you wake up from your dream and scream at your mother to wipe you.

Who is worse than Justin Bieber? Hitler

Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

Nickelback

WHat did Helen Keller get for Christmas? an ipod

In Soviet Russia it is normally colder than america and most people speak russian.

how do you make time fly? throw a clock out a window.

A very unattractive girl bent over in front of me. I proceeded to be sick, and then I choked on my sick. I died. My family mourn my death every day.

How did the man with no arms or legs cross the street? He didn't.

The king asked the jester why was he not telling jokes. He wasn't because he's a jester and therefore is obligated to be funny.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 'Cause 7 slept with 8 and punched 4 in the face.

-if you're American in the kitchen, British in the living room, what are you in the bathroom? -in the bathroom.

A women in her kitchen hears a thud outside. Her husband fell off the roof.

How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

Q:What does a black guy say when you steal his fried chicken right in front of him? A:"please restrain from taking food that does not belong to you. If you had kindly asked i would have kindly given you some, and right in front of me too! In all my life I've never seen such rudeness and i grew up in the Bronx."

Why do women have boobs? So they can feed their newborn children without paying for expensive formula

A woman walks into a bar She is raped.

Roses are pink. Violets are pink. The brony just took a dump. Don't give me that shit!

A man is writing with a #2 pencil. He looks down and sees that it says "Made in China." He shrugs and continues writing

how do you decrease the unemployment figures? abolish lidle, aldi, and netto

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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