Q: What's the best way to get a woman to stalk talking? A: Ask them nicely.

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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Q: What's worse than 5,000,000 African Americans being killed? A: 1 White person being killed

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in the front of his pants. He is given some very strange looks from the patrons both due to the fact that he has a steering wheel in his pants and because people wearing traditional pirate garb are a rarity.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

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Q: how do you stop a blonde woman from drowning? A: unplug the stopper in the bathtub Q: how do you stop a baby from drowning? A: take your foot off its head

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Once upon a time, there was this guy. He lived a good life and then died.

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Stephen Hawkings viewed porn as a child

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not doing your Webtime on a Friday!!

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How many Frenchmen does it take to surrender? Probably just one.

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What do you get if you cross a Kangaroo and a Sheep? They are too entirely different species and cannot be crossbred.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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A black man walks into a store and buys something.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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I walked up to my friend who's a drug addict holding a can of coke. I then told said friend that I liked the smell of coke. My friend then went on to snort 27 Kilos of cocaine.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? yea, neither has he.

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Why, you might ask, did in fact the chicken cross this all too infamous road? His grandma-ma phoned the righteous bird and requested a visit. Chickens never displease their family.

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A man with a ski mask leaves a jewelry store He then goes back because he accidentally took the clerk's pen

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Why was Sally crying? Because she had a frog stapled to her face.

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2 black guys are riding in a car, whos driving? The cops.

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How do you get a one armed man out of a tree? you throw a fridge at him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops