What does a person and a tree have in common? You can knock them down if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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the girl crossed a road to shoot a black van. she shot the sherrif.

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What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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What happens when you shoot a giraffe? It dies.

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When life gives you lemmons Give lemmons Life

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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My mom told me to shut up because I was screaming as I was strangled.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue.

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How would you punish Helen Keller? Make her read a basketball.

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knock, knock whos there child molestor

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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What black and has children A black man

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What does Chuck Noris have under his beard? A chin

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You really need some help in spelling the word GOD... Anyway, none of your fucking business.I am a child for this scenario only so... Moral: LET THAT CHILD ALONE!

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How do you get an annoying baby to shut up? Hit it with a bat

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What did the Cow say to the Chicken? Nothing animals cant talk

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Why did the boy go to the CONCENTRATION camp. He was a Jew

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What happens when you cross an Asian with a bass guitar? An Asian man lies down diagonally across a bass guitar.

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How do you make a plummer angry? Kill his family

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whats white, blue, and red all over? a white guy in the ghetto

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Why did the Jew rob the bank? -He was a criminal.

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It was a dark night, I was walking home from the shops in town, The wind was whistling through my damp hair, My spine tingled and i tucked my hands under my stinking pits. I felt like someone was watching me, I walked faster the breath was warm on my kneck i turned around. It was gary glitter he pulled down my pants and gave me the best sucky i ever had. We kissed and i tasted the cheese from my knob. In all garry glitter has a giant knob

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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