Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did people on a plane die? Because it crashed.

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Knock Knock Yes?

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Whats black and white and red all over Racial violence

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because it's a free country chickens are free to do as they please

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm colorblind.

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If life gives you lemons your hallucinating

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A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retaarded guy? A. Your retarded

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What's rape when you shout surprise? The crime, committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with him, especially by the threat or use of violence.

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How do u get a clown off of a swing? You hit him with an axe.

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Wanna hear a joke? Once upon a time, there was a successful Mexican.

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Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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What is orange and smells like a jewish cat. Nothing

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Statistically speaking, one out if every seven dwarves are unhappy

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Q: What's white, black, and red all over? A: The yellow brick road

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What's the difference between Cindy Crawford and a Snickers bar? Nothing. One is a mediocre actress, the other is a peanut based bar of chocolate confectionary.

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What did the pregnant teenager get for her birthday? An abortion.

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Why was Steve hungry? Because the last time he ate was yesterday.

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Know what people hated the most? 9-11

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children of those parents which re childless, often are childless too...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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