Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says, "It is quite hot in here." This is a lie. Neither of the muffins spoke because in reality, Muffins are not only inanimate objects, they are not humans, and therefore they do not have the ability to speak in a comprehensible language.

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Spell: “This word”

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"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

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Two men walk into a bar. You think the second man would have seen it.

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4 on three... 1, 2, 3, 4!

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Why are pineapples yellow? 82, piano, bomb, lamp!

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was being deporting because he over stayed his visa and is now an illegal immigrant

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Q:What did the scissors say to the paper? A: Nothing, cause thier scissors and paper they don't talk..

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Why did the black girl and white guy have sex? Because they were both sexually attracted to each other.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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When life gives you melons, your dyslexic

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What player wears number 8 and plays for liverpool? Steven Gerrard

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Your mom as so fat that I'm gonna give you the name of this doctor because I really care for you...... And don't want to see you so stressed because she is so fat.

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Jon has 50 chocolate candy bars Jon eats 45 of them. What does Jon have? Diabetes...

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Who was sorry when the fat kid fell over last year? The whole of Japan.

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-What did the duck say to Federico Costa nearby the phonebox in a rainy day? -Quack

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

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Q: What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A Good Start.

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Person 1: "Ask me if I'm a rock." Person 2: "Are you a rock?" Person 1: "No."

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What is worse than getting raped? Getting raped twice.

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Two men drove their car of a cliff. They died.

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Why did the black lady pick out a white dress? Because she thought it was a pretty white dress.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come out with your hands up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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