I would rape her

knock knock

A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

What do you call a horse with wings and a horn on his head? Drunk

How do you make sushi if you are a fish? Commit suicide and sell yourelf to a sushi resturant!

A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

Q:what has two legs and bleeds A: a dog cut in half

Wanna hear a joke? 9-11

Why was the black man tangled in chains at the bottom of the ocean? Because he was a highly skilled diver and environmentalist who tragically entangled himself and consequently died slowly and painfully of suffocation while trying to save a whale from eating waste metal.

Your mom is so fat...

justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

My life is a dream in of itself.. inception???

Jimmy Saville

A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? Nobody, the car is parked while they look at a map for directions because doing that while you are driving would be very dangerous and could result in a collision.

What did Helen Keller do when she found a dead body? Nothing.

WEED!

Whats green and has wheels? A green honda

-Knock Knock ~Who's there? -It's your mother ~Go away

Roses are black, violets are black. I'm blind.

an ant walks into my aunt.... the ant took a dump

why did the deer jump, because there was something in it's way

Whats black and hangs from trees in my backyard? blackberries..

Q: whats the differences between a bra and the canucks?? A: a bra has two cups

Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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