What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It died. Q: Why did the snake fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird. Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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What's spotty, can be found everywhere and is largely unpopular? Nothing.

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Why did the baboon fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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No I do not think that, that would be a wasted thought.

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Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

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Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

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Why couldn't Sarah see through her telescope? She was blind

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In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

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A gentleman walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What can I get for you?" The gentleman replys that he would like a beer. After the bartender fulfils the gentleman's order, the gentleman drinks his beer and enjoys it.

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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Why did the jewish man pick up a nickel on the street? Because he understands the value of saving money.

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Why did the old man fall off his bicycle? Because somebody threw a fridge at him.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "He has a mild concussion."

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Take off your shoes.

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If life gives you lemons your hallucinating

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What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

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A blonde enters a bar and orders an elevator.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gun store to buy a gun. After years of abuse and mockery, he was tired of being called "chicken", and was going to shoot up the entire school

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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The original "Chicken cross road" joke is a Anti joke in itself.

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How many of amanda todd's frinds does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question, she doesn't have any

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who killed more poeple than jeffory dommer, john wayne gayce, and ted buny combined cancer

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Have you seen the painting by Stevie Wonder? It's a Monet and this museum's most prized piece. Just kindly ask Mr. Wonder to step aside a bit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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