- Anti Joke

What' do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's puzsy

How do giant spiders like to spend their weekends? Eating Orphans.

Someone stole my cookie from the cookie jar! So I bought another cookie.

Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

What's big and fat? An obese man.

hey John will you make some copies

What is the difference between ashes and a jew? A lot

Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

What would people call Michael Jackson if he became president? Probably President Jackson

Why did the black man skip every other step on the stairs? Because he had long legs and it was faster.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

knock knock who's there? be. be who? *hits you with a batterang. BECAUSE ITS BATMAN

What has 7 mouths 3 eyes and 5 noses Something very ugly

1: Ask if I'm a truck. 2: Uh... Are you a truck. 1: No.

What's sad about an old black woman being hit by a Porsche? She was my third grade English teacher, and had a huge impact upon my life.

What did the woman get for Christmas? Cooking oil and a black eye.

Mary had a big white van, a big white van, a big white van, Mary had a big white van, where did my friend go? (sing the song)

Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. Are you a grapefruit? No.

Q: Whats the difference between nude pics and your mom? A: I can wackk off to nude pics

A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

What is the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa is a fictional character used to represent Christmas, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

two cannables walk in to McDonalds

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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