Paper shield.

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A blonde went to a doctor for a checkup. The blonde couldn't hear the doctor 'cuz she had headphones on so the doctor took them off. A couple of minutes later she died. The doctor was curious so he put the headphones on. It was saying, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

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Q.What did the anti-joke reader say to the doctor? A-My finger is stuck on the dislike button.

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Why did the man smoke pot in the roller coaster? Because he was dyslexic and read the sign wrong and thought it read "You must be high to go on this ride."

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How do you get a Mother out of a tree? Ask them to come down, because it is really not socially acceptable for a responsible adult to be climbing trees.

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if you like, i will tell my crush maddy i love her, just kidding i wont do shit.

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America were the American dream is something only foreigners believe in

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you: your adopted me: i was so thanks for saying you ass

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What hurts people but doesn't? Child Birth. -Dave Papile

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why did the chicken cross the road? to spend the night with his friend.

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A worm slowly crawled through the ground, only to be eaten by an incoming bird.

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Knock Knock Who's there? ... No one, you have Schizophrenia

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Roses come in a variety of colors.

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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Why did the spoon say hi to the fork? To initiate a conversation.

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What is 8===D- ? A jew with a lip piercing.

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what's worse than finding mommy kissing santa clause ? slave trading

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you are driving down the highway, if two birds make a bee then how many pies can fly at once? None because I can't read

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I was hoping you could tell me–why else would I ask you a question?

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Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

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How do you drown a fish? You can't , it is physically Impossible to drown a fish. because they have gills, so they are able to breathe underwater.

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There was a man workin at the supermarket, when a cow with a hat entered. He realized that it couldn't be really happening and had to be a dream. Effectively: he was dreaming. Actually, he was in jail, and his execution was scheduled for that day.

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Did you hear about the guys who wanted to go to Hawaii??? They didn't go!

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A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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