A guy walks into a bar, A metal one, OUCH!

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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How can you tell an Irishman from a frenchman? Well, if you look back at both there heritages...

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

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amy baked 35 sugar cookies and ate 25, what does she have now? diabetes.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? A pair of broken sunglasses, because his parents didn't care about him, and because he lived in Hawaii where it is very hot in December. Plus the kid's blind. By Nikhil Sridhar of Taikoo Shing, Hong Kong.

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What has feet but cannot walk? What has a beak but cannot peck? What has wings but cannot fly? A dead bird.

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I had sex with my mother in law

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An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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How did Princess Diana cross the road? Through the windshield

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Why did the man go to sleep at 9:30? Because his mom told him to

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Why did the white girl fuck the mexican? Because her teacher told her to do an "essay"

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What's worse than getting AIDS? Nothing.

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Did you here about the guy who kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter? Well, he died

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What do you call a blonde who tries to swim on land? - Stupid.

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What did your mom say when Quinn Griffith Randel walked in the door? Hi.

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Sarah Palin

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I am not racist., I have a black man in my family tree! He is still hanging there

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Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue. Wouldn't want to be caught in the crossfire.

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9

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Women's rights.

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Your'e probably not going to laugh at this joke, it wasn't made to be funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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