What did the white guy tell the black guy? You are my equal and, as such, are entitled to the same things I am.

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Blarg, with ritalin everything tastes like cardboard, but on the bright side I can taste, lucky me I am so handsome the ones that attacked us did not want to ruin "my pretty face", so I just got a few cuts before I broke his, they never see a steel fist arriving you know... Listen, you are wrong, you gotta think less about me, and much more about yourself, you feel like you should worry more about me emotionally, but worry about your feelings more despite that because I can more or less hear your body saying "please take care of me", I mean I can more or less hear the urges and needs of women, thats why I am so good around them, I dont put them in a trance "vampire style" i just make them feel safe around me because it is safe around me, I am safe at all times because I am who I am. Listen, worry about your needs, turn of all mental alarms, I can sense (I dont know how, Richard Bandler put that into me) that you are in lack of sleep, food and sleep (I can sense it now, you havent slept well since you thought I was dead, it makes logical sense, it always does, its not magic, its the human potential unleashed) So take care of yourself, turn of your body`s needs one by one, shower, eat, drink (eat something good), and if you are at the couch, go get a pillow and lie down, this is about you, because I cant feel well if those I love and care about dont feel well okay? Please allow me to sleep easily and try getting some sleep yourself even if my guys are 15 minutes away. Let me know that you feel better.

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How do you escape prison? Kill everyone in it hen once you have escaped find their families and viciously murder them. Are they going the send you back to prison? No because you will kill everyone.

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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I like colin but not as much as apple

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I pooped.

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You're so gay that you lost your virginity to someone of the same gender.

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What did the runner say after he ran 10 miles? I just ran 10 miles.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "God" "Then come right in!"

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What's sad about 5 black men falling off a cliff? The master has no slaves.

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What did the boy do before school? Jacked off.

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Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

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Why did moral man run out of morals? Moral: LEAVE MORAL MAN ALONE! BUAHAHAHA LEAVE HIM ALONE! BUAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why was the Cubs fan sad? His wife just left him.

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What did the fish say when it was being fried? That's crazy, fish can't talk.

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In Soviet Russia You drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up

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whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

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Row row row your boat Right to KFC Put some kool-aid in your cup And toast to you and me

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my great great grandpa ryan the rattlesnake had a cat named dog-

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what do you call a black person in the dark? ........invisible

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What' do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's puzsy

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter ponder with cheese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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