how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

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How do you kill chuck norris? With a gun...from 40 feet away

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What do you call a black guy running from the cops? Nothing. He was out for his morning jog and he happened to run by the police.

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Q. What did the dog say to the cat? A. Ruff.

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What did my grandma tell me during a funeral? Nothing. It's her funeral. She's dead.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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A bear and a rabbit sits by a small lake in the forest, taking a shit. After a while, the bear asks the rabbit: "Do you have problems with shit hanging from you fur after you're done?" The Rabbitm ponders, and responds: "No, bear. I really don't". Than the bear wiped his ass with some moss.

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Why would you call a child douche bag? Cause they're sterile

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dick in your mouth just kidding haaaaaa

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How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None

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King Triton: "As much as it pains me to lose you, Ariel, I want you to be happy with your prince..." Ariel: "So why don't you just turn Eric into a merman?" King Triton: "Good idea."

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Q. What did Nelson say to his men before they boarded ship? A. "Board ship men"

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What do potatoes wear to bed? Potatoes don't sleep and don't wear clothes.

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Have you ever seen Hellen Keller's house? Well it was really nice.

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Roses are black Violets are white I'm colorblind

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Why did the penguin die? He was anti-social and would rather die than huddle. So he died. THE END

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Why did the Kitty stop meowing? Because its dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are simple-minded creatures and perhaps there was some source of food on the other side.

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Random question: Whats black and white, green, and black and white? Well thought out correct answer: 2 zebras fighting over a pickle

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All your base are belong to us. Shame on you for making fun of the Japanese. They can't help their broken English sometimes. How would you like it if someone were to nitpick about every single word you typed? Yeah, bet you wouldn't like that, would you? Would it make you feel a bit more guilty to know these people suffered through a horrible earthquake and tsunami - and still managed to survive? Huh? Or that they continue to outshine most other countries in the world in the field of high-technology? Sure, maybe they DID blow up Pearl Harbor in 1941 and send us reeling into another World War. Everyone makes mistakes. Based on the past, "All your base are belong to us" seems pretty trivial now, doesn't it? Go apologize to a Japanese man right now, and never speak of this again.

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The anti joke that repeats itself :(

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Q: What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? A: They both have handlebars except for the duck!

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whats dead and gone your nanas cat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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