Two men walk into a bar. It turns out the bar was a lever and set off a bomb. They both died.

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A lawyer gets admitted to a bar.

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what did the cat say to the monkey meow then he got hit by a car

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Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

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In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

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Why should you never trust anglers? Because they're always into fishy business... Why should you never trust hunters? Because they carry loaded guns...

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

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Why does an actor enjoy his work so much? Because it’s all play.

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Okay, one second.

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"Want to hear something ironic?" ...he said to the deaf man.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm colorblind.

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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Davey Peterson.

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kieran scott has a huge back

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Why did the girl scream for help? She was being raped.

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What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he does what he wants.

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Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

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How many pieces of toast can you eat in 1 year? well, it depends on how many pieces you eat in one day, does it count snacks, or full meals of just toast, can you eat even when your not hungary, if you throw up does it still count? If it is 1 piece a day, it would be 365.

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How do you kill a blonde? By inactivating major functions in the body, for example cutting off the blood supply to the brain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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