How many beavers can you fit in one paddling pool? None; it's probably very dangerous trying

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did YUR MOM cross the road? To go slap her annoying-ass twelve year old for using "your mom" as an insult.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is red and itchy? Something that itches and it turns red if you itch it to much

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why do you put a baby in a blender face up? To see the expression on its face

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If an ear could talk what would it say? Probably nothing because it doesn't have a tongue...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

1 fish 2 fish red fish wait why is the fish red , oh I forgot I killed it

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock knock. *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Wh did Steve Jobs invent the iPhone? Because he was smart.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CAsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fhomepage.eircom.net%2F~cronews%2Felep%2Felep.html&ei=1aAjVMrJJcePoQS99ILADg&usg=AFQjCNEy4qvnhug3LTGYLGylpoRhxjk_zg

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did Frankenstein say to Dracula? Hey, that's a nice cape.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

knock, knock... no one replies and it becomes obvious that no one is in the house.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats worse than seeing your mom naked. Your dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock! Knock! Who's There? The Police. Open the damn door. Nobody Is Home.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Iran say to Israel? ALLLLAHH

thumb_up thumb_down -19

knock knock who's there Alec Baldwin I just raped your children ..........

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happened to Kurt Cobain? He committed suicide. He shot himself in the head with a shotgun and then he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Jim came home from work. only to find out his family had been murdered

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops