Whats worse than being a 40 year old virgin? Being a 12 year old girl in Africa who gets raped everyday to feed her family.

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What happens if you shoot a chicken? It dies.

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What's worse than getting Ebola? Nothing

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How did Darth Vader make the little black boy's day? "I am your father"*heavy breath, heavy breath*

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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What is the diffrence between a monkey... An apple because the more the much. :) :| :| :|

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Bumsniffer

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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What is black and blue and really is not in the mood for sex? The new girl at the women's shelter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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What did the black person say to the tall man with nice shoes? Nice shoes.

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charlie sheen losing

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Your mom's your dad's wife. Except when she's not.

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i feel like when the radish was discovered someone was like "hey lets call it rad!" and another guy was like "lets dial it down a bit"

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Roses are red. Violets are red. I have a gun. What did i do?

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Knock knock whos there? A dead black man ... i farted

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What is yellow and fluffy? Green fluff, I lied about the yellow part.

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How many Jews can you fit into a 1968 Caddy? 1 in the front, 2 in the back, and 200 in the ash tray.

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This is not a joke or is it

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber's talent.

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What is worse than breaking your pencil? Flying on a magic carpet

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Knock Knock Whose there? Me! Hi

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Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops