Knock knock! Who's there? A bottle of beer. No thanks, I've been sober for 15 years.

I saw a poor man named rich

A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

How do you get a firetruck to swerve uncontrollably? Shoot the driver with a 12 gauge.

SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

Sally was ugly like a shaven babboon So she created her own little cacoon And within a week she finally emerged And she smelled like shit what a psycho

A blonde walks into a bar. She is rushed to the hospital and treated for a broken nose and a busted lip. She now has a deformed nose.

Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Starving children in africa.

How many dead babes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? its not possible because there all dead

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

How many wooden chairs can a black man staple to a whales forehead? 27 because Helen Keller does not like blueberries.

You know what they say about men with big feet? Big penis.

What's gay and nobody likes? Ryan's combover

Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

A farmer had a horse that he rode frequently. He would talk to the horse and tell it it was his closest companion. One day the farmer noticed that the horse was walking funny. So he shot it.

Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

1Q: Quick! Ask me if I'm a lemon!! 2A: Your not a lemon 1A: :/ oh :/

how do you make your mom mad? mushroom stamp her face

Man: I'm just popping out to get cigarettes (He never returns.)

Roses are black, violets are black. I'm blind.

Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

Jack and jill Went up the hill To go smoke Some marijuana Jack got high Unzipped his fly And asked jill "Do you wanna?" Jill sais "yes" Pulled up her dress And things got real fun But silly jill Forgot the pill And now they have a son

Q. Why did the woman fall out of the tree? A. Cause she got laid

Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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