getting up in the morning is the 3nd hardest thing :DDD

thumb_up thumb_down +11

a man said hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I would rape her

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many squirrels does it take to drive a refrigerator 10 quarts per elephant? Vanilla Cake

thumb_up thumb_down +11

knock knock

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between Hitler and Stalin? Nothing because pineapples aren't vegetables.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A sad-looking man entered a bar. The barman asked, "why so sad?" The man replied, "I have a terminal illness."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did one tree say to the other? "Hey Phil, how's it going?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

My life is a dream in of itself.. inception???

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Jimmy Saville

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the egg crossed the road? If X = chicken and C = the speed of light, then 2 to the power of the road which is 12 feet across times X/C = egg

thumb_up thumb_down +9

hi do you like guitars? cool i dont

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the black man tangled in chains at the bottom of the ocean? Because he was a highly skilled diver and environmentalist who tragically entangled himself and consequently died slowly and painfully of suffocation while trying to save a whale from eating waste metal.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your mom is so fat...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did OJ Simpson say to the blonde? "Don't worry, I'm not going to murder you"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a horse with wings and a horn on his head? Drunk

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you make sushi if you are a fish? Commit suicide and sell yourelf to a sushi resturant!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q:what has two legs and bleeds A: a dog cut in half

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why is Obama the Antichrist? Salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops