The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

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So I was sitting in the doctor's when I noticed a guy sitting about two seats down, wearing a sombrero and pouring salt over himself. Then I found out I had cancer and promptly lost all interest in him.

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A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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Why was seven afraid of eight? Because eight nine ten.

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what do you call a man with no friends? it's because of all the wear and tear that's done to the socks being thrown in her, and she desanitizes only the nun with no forebeard

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Hey guess what! We're birthday buddies! May 3rd.. Yeah that's why you should give me 5 bucks.

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A Canadian man, American man and French man all go to a wive swapping party. The Canadian gets the American's wife, the American gets the French wife, and the Frenchman dies of a brain aneurism and the European wife. is very disappointed in her night.

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Why couldent the boy pick up the bunny? He had severe muscular distrophy, and couldent even lift a spoon to his mouth. let alone a bunny

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Knock knock. Who's there You are.

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Q: what the apple say to the orange? A: nothing because there fruits and fruits cant talk

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One kid says I've had threw bottles of water and I haven't had to go to the bathroom. His friend says may have a urinary tract infection.

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Two people are walking down the street, unaware of the highly polluted environment and that they could save a life.

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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Would anyone like to contribute to my slush fund?

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What's the difference between and Jew and pizza?!?!?! Jews are people and pizza is a food product :D

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What's brown and sticky? Turtle excrement.

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How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff card at the bottom of a pool.

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knock knock who's there?

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what did the cheese say to the other cheese nothing cheese can't talk

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your going to die

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Why did the car cross the road? Green light

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Why did the white girl fuck the mexican? Because her teacher told her to do an "essay"

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What's good? Anything that is not bad.

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What is pretty, has big tits, talks like a guy, and has a dick? Your mom giving me a handjob.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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