Why will this joke be the most hated? Because it sucks

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what is big and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A snooker table

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Knock Knock! Who's there? John Simons. This joke lacks a punchline. Yes, yes it does.

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Sorry not thinking here, of course I will arrive sooner, give me 20 minutes or so (got to scout the area, you never know) As for coding, there is no hidden meaning so yeah... That is probably some "Neronist" coding format I never knew of I am using so well. Cant drive like this, so I will use a cab and wait for you at the back seat or something, I will let the Taxi cab honk the numbers of code here so you can come out knowing its safe. I sincerely thought you where at the home, according to our coordinates you are... Dont tell me that bastard built some basement over there, wow! I really miss him now, if nothing else because I would have liked a wine cellar made in less than... Sorry, ill be there asap, 20 minutes or less, nah, believe me, "fancy" is the least of things I want, and I wont be changing my mind anytime soon. See ya. I am sincerely surprised you even remember me, then again I look a lot like your crush. Abel (in case you where wondering, this is not my name either, but you get the picture by now)

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

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Knock knok ! Whos there? Buhu ! Buhu Who? Why are you crying?

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Woof woof

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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Your mom.

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Q: Why is Santa's sack so big? A: Because he only cums once a year

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What did the blind football player say to his coach? I cant see

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent

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What do a bench and a mexican have in common? (don't worry it's not racist) You'll find both in a park. (I lied)

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What's the difference between a pen and a tiger? Believe it or not they are both not a cantaloupe.

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They should introduce a filtering system on here. That way any repeated jokes, or idiots taking up a page with a copy and paste routine, could be simply erased by those who are bored with them or find them irritating. [L]

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had herpes.

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Why did Silly Billy throw a clock out the window? Because he has a serious anger problem.

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your life

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Q: What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? A: A dog

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why did the cow eat a computer? Why? Who knows

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Did you hear about the alter boy that wasn't molested by a priest?

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<3 ... it looks more like scissors than a heart...

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How did the man jumping out of the plane at 33,000 feet survive? Because he had a parachute

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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