Roses are red, violets are blue, I told you she was my Mom, but that didn't stop you!

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Why where the 3 little children talking about muffins? Because muffins are smart.

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why did the chicken cross the road??? I don't know, that's why I asked you -_-

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Once upon a time, there was a horse that had no legs, it laid on the ground it's entire life and died. The end.

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Me: Why are red onions actually purple..? Dad: I don't know Sister: *sarcastic* Well, Why is it rainy in London? Me: ....Because that's the weather pattern.

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Yo Mamma's so dumb... She cannot manage to find a decent job without her GED.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it.

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A man walks into a bar and the barenter says, "What'll it be?" The man says, "I'll take a Bud Light."

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? An amputation.

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What's big, black and hard to swallow? A bowling ball.

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Why did the black guy eat KFC? Cause he was hungry.

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Six Jews get on a train. They all safely arrive at their locations.

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What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

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My dog has no dictionary. How does he spell terrible?

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If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

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3 men walk into a bar. they all take a cab home to keep from having an accident due to their intoxication.

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A homosexual black man and a 13 year old child are in the shower at the local gym. The black man says to the boy "you dropped your soap, why don't you pick it up?" The boy promptly thanks the black man, picks up his soap and continues to shower.

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Two cows are in a field. One says to the other, "are you worried about this mad cow disease that's going around?" The other replies, "I'm not worried - I'm a squirrel."

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Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

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Whats worse than a pile of dead baby's? Being raped by a giant scorpion. Well that escalated quickly. Also i'm gonna call the cops.

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A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

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How does a black man put puzzles together? First, he locates the four corners. Next, he begins filling in the sides. Finally, he uses the picture on the box to fill in the center. It can be a very tedious process if he is not paying attention.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano? Neither has he...

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- kellen says to bill "your a fruit cake" - bill say to raj "your a gypsy" - raj says to kellen "you have gingevitis" R.I.P kellen 2012

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops