whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

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Q: What did the Jewish man find when he turned on his shower? A: gas

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Two Blondes walk into a bar. They each enjoy a refreshing drink before heading home to greet their family

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Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought one of them would have seen it.

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Why did the first elephant fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? It was tied to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? PEER PRESSURE!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I forgot to go to the bathroom

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

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How do you stop a bus? Press the brakes

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because the light said don't walk

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know where I am, I'm blind.

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Why was the boy not feeling well? He swallowed a piano.

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Q: Why did the koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen

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Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

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your mumma so fat she ate a horse and she still had room for dinner

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What did the fat man with scissors do? Cut off the foreskin of your penis.

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Why was the little girl sad? Because she was brutally raped up the ass

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The more I learn to understand myself, the more true I am towards my values the less human I feel. The irony is, that there will always be other humans feelng the same.

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What did the finger say to the thumb? I'm in glove with you.

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo Boo who? It's just a joke you don't have to cry about it

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Why did the Jew run across the road? To get to the other side.

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whats worse than a baby in a bathtub? its dead. Whats worse than that? its in a clown suit. Whats worse than that? The baby had down syndrome.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops