A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

boy: you want to hear something funny? girl: what? boy: women's rights girl: you want to hear something trivial? boy: what? girl: your penis

why did the chicken cross the road? because the food source on its original side was running low, thus forcing the chicken to find other food options.

a black kid goes and gets some cereal and spills some flower on him self and he goes to his grandma and says look grandma i`m white and then she slaps him he goes to his grandpa and says look grandpa i`m white and then he slaps him and then he goes to his mom and then says look mom i`m white and then she slaps him then he goes to his dad and then says dad i`ve been white for 20 minutes and i all ready hate yall nigas

I know what you do with your right hand. You part-take in everyday activities such as eating, typing, grooming and maneuvering.

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

"The Civil War wasn't won in a day, it was won in a lifetime." -Marc Cruz

Why did the dog eat poop?

Why did the chicken cross the road? 4

bryden is a faggot

What did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? Leukemia.

Why did the Asian guy's condom slip? Because the condom was put on the opposite way.

Knock Knock? Who's There? Not a Jehovah's Witness, let me in!

How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

A man walks into a bar and says "ow"

I wonder if barrack Obama will rename the whitehouse...to the blue house because it is his favorite color

What do you call a man in the desert? Whatever his name is.

Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

Where can you find elephants? That depends on where you leave them.

Q.What do you call a beaver with a unibrow. A. A beaver........it's still a beaver

Why was the man reading various news articles on the Internet at 2:21 in the morning? Because at that time he could not sleep. Which meant he tried to find something else to fill his time up with.

whats worse than a worm in your apple? the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust? two worms in your apple

Two cows are in a field. One says to the other, "are you worried about this mad cow disease that's going around?" The other replies, "I'm not worried - I'm a squirrel."

What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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