How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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What do you call a black man with a PhD and loving family? A nigger

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you

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How do you trap a squirrel? You carefully set up a trap and place acorns in the trap.

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how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

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bees knees

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What did the T-rex say to the elephant? i like bananas

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Did you hear about the Englishman who ran all the way to Loch Ness? Oh, that's a shame, because I didn't either.

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A dog walks into a bar. the owner of the bar didn't allow animal in his bar and he helped the dog outside again

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Why do animals on the side of the road stink? Well they don't, you just think they do when in reality all it is, is there insides rottening From prevous days of exposen of the air now as far as I know all the little baby squrriel Wanted was it get his nuts in the road and it bring back to his starving family counting on him to bring Food to the tree next thing you know a soccer mom's van ran the poor baby squirrel over. Now me knowing this squirrel myself (don't ask me how) he wanted to go out in style you know get ran over by a mustang or a lambo not some bitch ass mini van with sliding doors and a dvd player convinit for the kids to watch spongebob.... man I bet that squrriel was pissed!

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Why did the mean have to clean up the mass amount of dead bodies? Because he lost a game of rock-paper-scissors.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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once upon a time there was a boy

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing.

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Bob dole

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- Do you want to hear a joke? - No. - Ok.

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Why did little tommy fall in the well. Because he grew tired of his life of brutal Beatings and starvation, so he jumped.

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? So that it would melt and he could dip his dick into it and his mom could lick it off.

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Why do the children cry at dinner time? Becuase there mother forces them to eat her own faeces and takes pictures of them doing it and posts it on the internet.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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What's better than Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels Jr.

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A Jew! Bless you.

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An old jewish man, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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