What is another way to call a procrastinator? Avery annoyed and bored child who does not want to do her homework and is looking up many different anti-jokes for a laugh. You know who you are...

Did you know Hellen Keller Had a pony neither did she

Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

Knock knock Who's there? I eat myp.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I told you she was my Mom, but that didn't stop you!

GIRL: Honey, for a holiday we should go someplace nice BOY: How will that work, none of us speak Mexican...

What do you call cheese that is not yours? The fact that you do not own the cheese doesnt change its name

Yo momma's so fat that all the children within a close proximity of your home think that your mother is a very large woman.

yo mama so fat she has diabetes.

why was the guy stranded on an island? because his boat crashed.

Why was the woman riding a camel? Because woman aren't allowed to drive in her country therefore she rides a camel as a way to commute. The camel's name is Gregory.

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

Two men walk into a bar.........ouch.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

Q: Wgat did Batman say to Robin before Robin got in the car? A: "Robin, get in the car"

What's black and hangs from a tree? A bat.

A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. The man was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral service.

Knock knock Who's there? Hello??? .....

What has two legs, takes away your money, and causes depression? A Democrat.

how did the jewish man die He had a fatal hard attack

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

Mary had a big white van, a big white van, a big white van, Mary had a big white van, where did my friend go? (sing the song)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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