If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? All the inventory was destroyed.

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Some peoples attempts at being funny on this website are the stupidest things i have ever read.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was severely depressed.

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A snail walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "hey we don't serve snails here," and flicks him across the street. 3 years later the snails walks back into the bar and said, "why'd ya do that for??"

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A Man buys a Prius. Hated it.

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who killed more poeple than jeffory dommer, john wayne gayce, and ted buny combined cancer

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Yo momma so ugly she looks like a penis

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How old is your mom? Old.

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Where did a homeless man find his easter eggs? In the bin.

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what do u call a apple a apple

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A blonde enters a bar and orders an elevator.

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What is the anwer to life? (>^v^ )> KIRBY DANCE

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What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

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Ask me if I am a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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colby doesnt shave

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What's the deal with airplane food? Why don't they serve it as a complimentary part of the flight anymore?

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I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

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Why did the Chinese man have a cat in his oven? Because his wife had decided to divorce him that day so he threw he in the oven, and the cat happened to be in her arms at the time.

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whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? One has a complex circulatory system the other is a pizza.

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What did the man say when he was asked if he recently saw a mime painting a lawn chair in the middle of December? "No." , and walked away, slightly confused by the matter.

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What do you call a black person riding a bicycle? A black person riding a bicycle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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