What did the Catholic Priest say to the young boy? God bless you.

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A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"

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Why wasn't the crow allowed on the plane? He had too much carrion luggage

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We have a 24hr fitness center...it is open from 6 to 11

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What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hello Carolina, let me lick your vagina.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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What happened to the boy who ditched his friends and lied to them...? His appendix exploded.

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A middle-class family went away on vacation. While they were gone, a pyromaniac burnt down their house. Their cat was still inside.

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What is worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? 1 dead babies in 10 trees.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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A man walks into a bar. It was a salad bar, so he left.

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what did the cat say to the monkey meow then he got hit by a car

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Never bring a knife to a sword fight Bring A GIANT FREAKING HIPPOPOTAMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's a black person's favorite thing to eat? Food.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

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Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? Because he crossed the road

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He loved working with tourists.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My room is a mess, Violets are still blue

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What's red and goes pop? A clip art of the word "Pop"

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What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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