What's purple and gross? Purple gross stuff

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Im a dog. RUUUFFF!

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What's spotty, can be found everywhere and is largely unpopular? Nothing.

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I haven't made a school shooting joke yet, but the day is young Just like those kids that got shot

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What stands on the corner oof every major city at night? A cop

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What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

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What do Texans call cows? Cows. Calling them almost anything else would be utterly illogical.

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In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

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wanna hear a joke? no.

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How do you make an anti joke? You ask a question that could have a presumably amusing answer, but make the joke less amusing by stating an obvious answer, therefore completely bamboozling the victim of the anti joke, and making you seem like a man that has a lot of common sense.

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What is the difference between a cow and a human? A lot of things.

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What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

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EAT YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A man walks into a bar what does he say Ouch

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Why did the man paint his dog blue? He has some strange mental condition and is incapable of controlling his own actions.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gun store to buy a gun. After years of abuse and mockery, he was tired of being called "chicken", and was going to shoot up the entire school

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vaginas

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I`m not as random as you think i`m salad.

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Do you like fishsticks No

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Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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What do you call it when the sh*t hits the fan? The sh*t hits the fan.

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Wendy went for a walk every day in the forest. Why not today? She was shot yesterday

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! I won the battle but lost the war: I'm Donald Trump!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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