Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It died. Q: Why did the snake fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird. Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the college student say after he failed his test? He didn't say anything, he was a mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

thumb_up thumb_down +41

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the old man order the little girl into the car? Because he was her grandfather.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I like pancakes. I like pancakes. We have no pancakes

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped his mother

thumb_up thumb_down +37

you know whats not funny? the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +37

whats 2 + 2? a black guy flying a kite

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a joke with no punchline?

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I was (really) asked one day by a guy if I wanted to star in a porn movie... Before I could even think about it he asked my 14 year old sister "Do you want to join in too?" And that kids, is why I am stuck in jail for pushing up a boot up a guys ass... Well replace boot with dick, and guys ass with my 14 year old sister and yeah... Naw... seriously she has hueg boobs though... at the age of 14, damn those melons have not even gone a bit greenish yellow and they are still growing... ...Hey Cassandra, its NeroMetal, good thing I am not your brother and that you are 19 right? NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THAT NEROISM DUDE THAT CHATS HERE, I play videogames, and write books, and sign books... ...Then some guy sees my real name is Nero and goes that guy on horsehead network? Who? HE SUCKS! SUCKS ASS!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you upset an Mexican? Kill his entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the father say to his gay son? "Finish your homework."

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Question: What did Mr. Reeves say. Answer: Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +33

i have an apple. now suck my dick

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops