What really puts a kick into both my life and the lives of others around me? My leg(s) of which recieves messages from a sophisticated bundle of "wires" in my cranium that enables it to act at all.

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What is black, white and red all over? Many things.

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what did one cupcake say to the other cupcake? nothing because they were both cupcakes.

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If life gives you lemons ask where they came from.

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What do you call a room full of Jews? A gas chamber.

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knock knock who's there i lost my wallet my nan died

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Knock Knock whose there? ach ach who? bless you

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What makes a good jack-o-lantern? A pumpkin

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What's better than being in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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A Jew! Bless you.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Jehovah's Witness." "Jehovah's witness, who?" "Just Jehovah's Witness. Your doorbell is not working."

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Did you hear about the Englishman who ran all the way to Loch Ness? Oh, that's a shame, because I didn't either.

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which one does not belong light bulb i have read an agree to the terms of service view terms of service submit

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what's one thing we're all tired of but they still make? Those crappy love songs.

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What is the difference between a plum and an elephant? One is purple, and not an elephant.

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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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A man walks into a bar. He is genetically predisposed to alcoholism, and it's destroying his family.

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What did the Asian store clerk say to the midget? yay penis

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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Your mom is so stupid, that she took an IQ test and was proven mentally retarded. Her family is devastated.

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What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? Because she didn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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