So like i was like 3 and I was like stupid or something I was only three, come on! three

What is the most dangerous day of the week to leave the house? Garbage day. Moral: Or rather GAAAAAAAAAARBAAAAAGE DAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *BANG BANG BANG* >:D

John Stamos.

what do you call a gay guy in a sleeping bag? a fruit roll-up. GET IT? because gay guys like fruit roll-ups.

Q: What did the boy say to his mum when he saw a Lion A: Hey mum that's a Lion

What is an old ginger lady's favorite type of bread? Whole wheat.

A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

What kind of bread makes pickles? Dill Dough

Emergency call: - Please help, my little son swallowed a condom! 5 minutes later - It is ok, I found another one.

Why do black people have the whitest teeth? Because they brush regularly.

Why did you not just "put a spell" on her instead? And you are totally mean, ever actually killed someone?

What's sad about an old black woman being hit by a Porsche? She was my third grade English teacher, and had a huge impact upon my life.

1: Ask if I'm a truck. 2: Uh... Are you a truck. 1: No.

Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

What did the orphan wish for Christmas during world war II? Parents What did he get? Bombed.

what starts with b and ends with itch pickle

Someone stole my cookie from the cookie jar! So I bought another cookie.

When life gives you lemons, thank life for its generosity.

A rapist is asked to teach a kindergarden class. The kids learn many things and have a great day.

Why did thw chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

What do Jews and Sloths have in common? They are both Mammals.

What walks on four in the morning, three at noon, and two at night? A baby with leprosy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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