cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

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Why did the rabbit jump? Because that's what rabbits do.

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A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

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Who is the fiercist Raptor of them all? Matt Daly

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"What happened to John after he got drunk 12 years ago"- police "I don't really don't know that question"- John Jr.

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Sorry not thinking here, of course I will arrive sooner, give me 20 minutes or so (got to scout the area, you never know) As for coding, there is no hidden meaning so yeah... That is probably some "Neronist" coding format I never knew of I am using so well. Cant drive like this, so I will use a cab and wait for you at the back seat or something, I will let the Taxi cab honk the numbers of code here so you can come out knowing its safe. I sincerely thought you where at the home, according to our coordinates you are... Dont tell me that bastard built some basement over there, wow! I really miss him now, if nothing else because I would have liked a wine cellar made in less than... Sorry, ill be there asap, 20 minutes or less, nah, believe me, "fancy" is the least of things I want, and I wont be changing my mind anytime soon. See ya. I am sincerely surprised you even remember me, then again I look a lot like your crush. Abel (in case you where wondering, this is not my name either, but you get the picture by now)

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what's the black mans shirt made out of? cotton

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What did the little girl do with her puppy? She killed it.

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How do you spell eight? 8

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What happened when the man killed a baby? He was captured by the authorities and sentenced to life in prison.

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Nyan cat had pancakes for breakfast.

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like a someboyyyyyyyyyyyy

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Why did the black man get pulled over by a cop? He was driving 12 miles over the speed limit.

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Why didn't Johnny walk to school this week? He was dead.

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Bill:What do you get when you cross a panda and an eagle? Joe:I don't know what? Bill: Is that even possible?

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SUBway eat fresh ZOMbies eat fleash

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? lettuce lettuce who? Lett-uce be friends

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whats more annoying than being raped by a giant scorpian? finding out that half the anti-jokes are terrible

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whats black and white and slides on its belly a penguin

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What do you call a blonde who tries to swim on land? - Stupid.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Chuck Noris

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Safe sex MR

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*DRRRRIN* Finally someone uses the doorbell.

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What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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