if dave has 50 candy bars and eats 45 what does he have? diabeties.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You're a virgin.

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What's big, red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why couldn't the black guy enter the room? He was too large to fit through the doorway therefore he turned around and left

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Knock Knock whose there brian Brian who oh because im chinese you assume my second name is Hu? terribly sorry theres been a misunderstanding, i was asking you surname, i should have been more specific! No it my fault, i dont know why i overreacted my second name is Hu its ok, what can i do for you? is it allright to come in for some noodles? are you paying? only a reasonable price ok then, dont see why not

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Why did the police officer arrest Maxwell? Because he's black.

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You know what they say about a guy with big feet? He wears large socks and has big shoes.

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Knock knock! Who's there? A bottle of beer. No thanks, I've been sober for 15 years.

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What's the difference between Hitler and Stalin? Nothing because pineapples aren't vegetables.

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I saw a poor man named rich

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? 3.

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What happened to the soccer player when he got kicked in the leg..... He cried on the ground for hours even though there is padding there

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Alright alright Tifa, you look totally different from your drawn identical twin. And yeah I could have been a bit more subtle, don't you worry, I have a special knack for SPAMMING COMMENTS INTO THE ABYSS! I mean sheesh you where pretty open about it earlier, and you said you did not give a damn about what random people thought... Moral: But yeah, I can do better than that, I just do not want to, no seriously, if you are going to go feeling ashamed, then I have failed you.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being in an abusive relationship.

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What's gay and nobody likes? Ryan's combover

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How many wooden chairs can a black man staple to a whales forehead? 27 because Helen Keller does not like blueberries.

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You know what they say about men with big feet? Big penis.

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How many dead babes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? its not possible because there all dead

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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A farmer had a horse that he rode frequently. He would talk to the horse and tell it it was his closest companion. One day the farmer noticed that the horse was walking funny. So he shot it.

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1Q: Quick! Ask me if I'm a lemon!! 2A: Your not a lemon 1A: :/ oh :/

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Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

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Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

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Marilyn Manson was walking to church.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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