How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

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If dropped from the same height, which hits the ground first an apple or a baby? the apple because the baby has a rope tied around its neck

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Roses are red, Violets are blue...........Im wearing socks

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Why was a small girl found dead in the town park? Because Sallie was a bitch and deserved to die.

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I am nobody Nobody is perfect Therefore, I am perfect

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What worse than the holocaust? Danny's.

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Have you ever seen Ethiopian food? No, neither have Ethiopians.

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Row row row your boat Right to KFC Put some kool-aid in your cup And toast to you and me

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You know what they say about a guy with big feet? He wears large socks and has big shoes.

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Your mother is so fat when she jumps she comes backs down.

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Why was Sally rolling in the grass? She was on fire.

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How many dead babes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? its not possible because there all dead

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Reverse psychology never fails.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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donald................duck for president

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Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

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What did the pedophile get for christmas? He was raped by a gorilla

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What did little Timmy get his grandmother for Christmas? A coffin

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What's black, green, and doesn't have to take a shower? I have no idea.

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Why did the plane crash. its pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A man is in the desert and he finds a lamp, he rubs the lamp and out comes a genie! The genie says "I can grant your three wishes, for releasing me from the lamp" The man says "I wish I didn't have AIDS".

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can people thumb up the evil dead statment below please... its important to me. (and the cup joke below) thanks people , ur great.

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What did the Russian scientist say to the British scientist when he saw two black guys enter a strip club? "Two black guys entered the strip club"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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