we sat at the table and began to say graceme my sister, me and my mom we bowed our heads and closed our eyes and said grace we lifted our heads and opend our eyes and the food was gone my mom was gone and the chocolate in my pocket was gone (i wonder who did it lol)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A green-painted man walked into a bar and confused a blonde, bar-tending horse with a tale of rape in the holocaust involving an amputee child riding a fridge on a plane with a pig, a duck, a chicken, a lawyer and countless men of various ethnicities, religious faiths and sexual persuasions. Together, they changed a lightbulb, ate wormy apples and agreed upon the colour of roses and violets respectively.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Sigh... You know life, you start all optimistic and "I am going to be wealthy mommy and stuff" Then you know, life turns not quite out like you planned it, and, well, you wish you had made some other choices you know what I mean... Your grades where not that good, that girl you really loved did not like you back, you know what I mean right? ...Well I don't, how is it like?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What crime does a tree commit in order to be sent to prison? Trees on.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How did the Mexican got into USA? Trough the border.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I like it in the butt. - Tyler James Nehring. Call me if you want to give me the d. 863-670-1547

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When one person has an imaginary friend, you call it being crazy. But when more than one person has the same imaginary friend, you call it religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Chikin nuggets are cooler than your mom!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's big, black and hard to swallow? A bowling ball.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a man made a beautiful colorful picture and hit print. the printer then grew a mind of its own and did the most horriffic and evil thing ever; he printed it in black and white.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and deaf, and to put her behind the wheel of a motorized vehicle would be extremely dangerous.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are Black. Violets are Green. im going to go cut myself now

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than finding a real joke on anti-jokes? -Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened to the man who sat outside in the sun too long? He died of skin cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar He is STD positive.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a horse with wings and a horn on his head? Drunk

thumb_up thumb_down +8

my eyes hurt from what? being open too much

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Who killed the ears of every human being? -Rebecca Black

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? Nobody, the car is parked while they look at a map for directions because doing that while you are driving would be very dangerous and could result in a collision.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did Helen Keller do when she found a dead body? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops