Why wasn't Johnny at school today? Because he died in childbirth.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What's black and hangs from a rope on a tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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Why can't Hellen Keller read, write, or do anything really? Because, shes a woman.

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Why do sea guls fly over the sea? In order to get from place to place, flying is much faster than walking. Sea guls live on a diet of salt-water fish, and the ocean is where their main food supply subsides.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a cage being carried by a farmer.

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What is brown and sticky. Hot chocolate.

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Why did the black guy buy spray paint? To paint his fence, to keep it from rotting away.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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How do you drown a blond? By being an insane murderer!

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roses are grey violets are grey so says my color blind cousin

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because people have encroached on it's natural habitat.

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In Soviet Russia it is normally colder than america and most people speak russian.

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(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

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Think of a fruit that isn't an orange ... You're thought of a pear, didn't you?

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A man walks into a bar. Later that night he comes home to an intervention and realizes he has a drinking has hurt him and his family.

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Why do jews have long noses? Because they received the genetic alleles from their parents that cause the nose to grow longer.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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how many dead babies fit in a bathtub 16

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Why can't Susie jump rope? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! who's there? Not Susie.

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Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

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A blonde and a brunette are stuck on a desert island, they later died of starvation.

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Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops