How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? It was getting tired of the jokes

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When life gives you lemmons Give lemmons Life

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Darnell has a 2 ounce gold chain around his neck. Gold is worth $1,639 per ounce. Where did Darnell steal the gold chain from?

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a man walks into a bar. ouch.

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how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

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I used to be an adventurer like you...but then I was diagnosed with cancer.

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how long does it take a meth-head to rob your flat? not long at all, and they'll take everything. they need to, it's an addiction

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How do you trap a squirrel? You carefully set up a trap and place acorns in the trap.

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you

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Why did the banana explode? Because it was a grenade!

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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Q: What's green and goes through walls? A: A pickle, you just have to throw it really hard.

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How do you stop a cat from urinating on your floor? Shoot it.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have the guts.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing.

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Bob dole

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how many jews can you fit in a buick? six if you squeeze 4 in the back

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bees knees

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What did the T-rex say to the elephant? i like bananas

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Why do animals on the side of the road stink? Well they don't, you just think they do when in reality all it is, is there insides rottening From prevous days of exposen of the air now as far as I know all the little baby squrriel Wanted was it get his nuts in the road and it bring back to his starving family counting on him to bring Food to the tree next thing you know a soccer mom's van ran the poor baby squirrel over. Now me knowing this squirrel myself (don't ask me how) he wanted to go out in style you know get ran over by a mustang or a lambo not some bitch ass mini van with sliding doors and a dvd player convinit for the kids to watch spongebob.... man I bet that squrriel was pissed!

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Did you hear about the Englishman who ran all the way to Loch Ness? Oh, that's a shame, because I didn't either.

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once upon a time there was a boy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops