Tiger Woods isn't a Tiger, He's a lion cheeta.

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Whats green and has wheels? A green honda

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Why did the old woman fall down She got shot

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Moralman... Seriously man, take it easy, my name is Nero, yes I play dual identities sometimes, it is only in order to convey my hidden messages to my people. I am deeply sorry to admit that those that assaulted you where indeed from my order, they have been prosecuted by the law and excluded from our order.

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How did the gay guy greet the other gay guy? Nice to meet you.

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What's Red and Invisible? No Tomatos

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the batmobile? Robin, get in the batmobile

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how do you make your mom mad? mushroom stamp her face

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A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

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What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Ferrari? I have a bag of dead babies in my garage.

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If you go to an animal shelter to get a pet god, you may be dyslexic.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is black.

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter ponder with cheese.

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Eats shoots and leaves Pandas. If you can't figure this out then you're probably 12

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What do you call red eyes in the dark? A high black man

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Why did the chicken lay an egg? Because she got knocked up.

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Mama Bear and Papa Bear were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Bear a choice of which parent to live with. "Do you want to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! She beats me." answers the baby bear. "OK, then you can live with your father." says the judge. "No! He beats me too!" cries baby bear. So Baby Bear was placed in a foster home.

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A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

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Why did the chicken die? He tried to cross a road by an alleyway, therefore getting hit by a double decker bus and the alleyway has nothing to do with it. Also, the chicken had one leg and was blind.

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Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

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Yo mama is so ugly, she entered an ugly contest and placed well in her division.

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A fat guy runs a marathon. He dies of obesity and dehydration.

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what do you call a mentally and physically obese man? nothing until you know or obtain his name

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken would greatly appreciate it if you stayed out of its personal life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops