An Englishmen, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar, and ordered a beer. They later went home and slept. They woke up the next morning with a slight hangover.

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What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

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It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

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Yo momma's so bulimic, and there's nothing funny about it at all.

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A guy walks into a bar Many people gather around him to see if he is alright and to tell him he needs to watch where he is going.

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What happens when you cross a vampire and a werewolf? A cross between a vampire and a werewolf.

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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The dyslexic man called the black man a ginger.

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What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

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Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

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Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

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What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

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If life gives you lemons your hallucinating

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what do u call a apple a apple

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Why did the terrorist miss the flight he was supposed to blow up? He forgot his passport.

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What did the jobless man get for Christmas? Fired...

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? Because they often have to interact with violent and distrustful criminals.

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knock knock whos there ? Jordan Jordan who ? Jordan Walters

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Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Q: what did the nazi say to the other nazi A: hallo

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What is the hardest part about rollerblading? Most commonly the balance part.

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender is amazed at the fact that an animal that possesses neither the mental nor the physical abilities to open doors, still managed to enter the bar without breaking anything.

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What's blue and says "Good morning" A blue sign that says good morning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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