King Triton: "As much as it pains me to lose you, Ariel, I want you to be happy with your prince..." Ariel: "So why don't you just turn Eric into a merman?" King Triton: "Good idea."

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dick in your mouth just kidding haaaaaa

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What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

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What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? A pair of broken sunglasses, because his parents didn't care about him, and because he lived in Hawaii where it is very hot in December. Plus the kid's blind. By Nikhil Sridhar of Taikoo Shing, Hong Kong.

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I had sex with my mother in law

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What has feet but cannot walk? What has a beak but cannot peck? What has wings but cannot fly? A dead bird.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

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I am not racist., I have a black man in my family tree! He is still hanging there

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9

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How did Princess Diana cross the road? Through the windshield

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a horse walks into a bar. what does the bartender say? why is there a horse in my bar.

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Sarah Palin

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What do you call a blonde who tries to swim on land? - Stupid.

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What did your mom say when Quinn Griffith Randel walked in the door? Hi.

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What's worse than getting AIDS? Nothing.

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Why did the white girl fuck the mexican? Because her teacher told her to do an "essay"

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Did you here about the guy who kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter? Well, he died

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What's the difference between a bike and a black man? I don't know how to ride a bike.

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why'd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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What is red white and blue Blood. I was lying about the white and blue.

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How do you silence a barking dog? You rip out its vocal cords.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops