What is the difference between a plum and an elephant? One is purple, and not an elephant.

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Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

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An old jewish man, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, now so do you.

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Why do the children cry at dinner time? Becuase there mother forces them to eat her own faeces and takes pictures of them doing it and posts it on the internet.

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What's better than Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels Jr.

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What did the blind man say to the bartender? Nothing, I forgot to mention he's also mute and has no legs.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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Roses are red Jeffrey's a nigger A refrigerator is white But Jeffrey's not a refrigerator. He's a nigger.

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What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

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A Jew! Bless you.

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Q: what happed to the squirrel that lost his nuts? A: it died

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which one does not belong light bulb i have read an agree to the terms of service view terms of service submit

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Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

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what did the horse say after the man told him to have a good day? nothing, horses dont talk.(:

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If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

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Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed? Neurotransmitters essential for happiness, such as serotonin and norepinephrine, were in rather low supply in the poor elf's brain.

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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What does the rubbish do when it is depressed? It breaks down.

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Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

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Goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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Whats funnier than 24? 25

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs sitting on your street corner? Suicidal.

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What's worse than farting in a silent class room? Denying it and farting a second time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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