Why could the kid not finish his homework? Because it flew out the window on the way to his parents funeral

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What kind of nun would never drink milk? One who suffers from a severe lactose intolerance.

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Sometimes I fantasize about having sexual relations with Oprah Winfrey. Sometimes I don't.

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If you don't see banners here, it doesnt mean their not there...

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Whats green and turns red at the push of a button A frog in a blender

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

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What's black and white and red all over? Two biracial gay guys boning a can of paint...

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What did the serial killer eat for breakfast? You.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The entire population.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like to slap hookers

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Knock knock Who's there Fetty Fetty who? Fetty Wap Hey what's up hello

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Q: How does a robber get into your house? A: Through a door.

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dildos are red, vaginas are blue, mother, what have I done to you?

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Rose are red Violets are blue And I really hate you Friends?????

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Q: whats big gray and cant swim A: a castle

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brian mcgee is gay!

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Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted AIDS

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A fat guy. - Louis

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what did the dog say? dogs can't talk therefore he said nothing

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What did the Priest say to the kid walking home alone? Be safe.

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What do Kim Kardashian and a broken-down horse have in common? They will both eat oats out of your hand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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