A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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How did the fat man avoid getting dehydrated? Fat men don't excersise and therefore cannot become dehydrated.

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Why was Why added to why? Because WHy not.

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In Soviet Russia, you have no rights!

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Poop swing

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penus

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A Elephant was going to fight against the biggest and toughest and meanest giant African desert mouse! The battle the animal kingdom had waited for centuries! *DING!* Elephant: Get up Mickey! Mouse: Squish! Disney: How big do you really think a African "giant" desert mouse is?

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I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

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What did the man do when he dropped his bar of soap. He picked it up

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What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

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If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

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what happened to the baseball player who couldnt throw? he was very unsuccessful, as throwing is the most important skill of the game

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how do u know when your in west virginia? when the houses have more wheels than the cars

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. And now he's dead. No more shoe ingestion

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What is worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your worm!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had been used as an ingredient in kung pow chicken and was on it's way via delivery boy to the house that had ordered it for a lovely evening meal

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Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

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TIMMAH!

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fruit salad?

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What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because potatos are invading russia

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Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

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Why was the girl crying? - Someone pooped on her face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops