What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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The dyslexic man called the black man a ginger.

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What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

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Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

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If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.

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Why did the jewish man pick up a nickel on the street? Because he understands the value of saving money.

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What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

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Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

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If life gives you lemons your hallucinating

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A man on crutches walked across the road. Suddenly he fell and sprained his foot. He was pleased that he was carrying crutches.

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Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock

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Why did the terrorist miss the flight he was supposed to blow up? He forgot his passport.

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what do u call a apple a apple

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I`m not as random as you think i`m salad.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Wat is brown and sticky? A stick

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(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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what has four wheels and opens using a key? -a trunk on wheels

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What did the jobless man get for Christmas? Fired...

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A man and his wife are sitting on the couch in their house, watching tv. The man says, "Do you smell smoke?" The woman then replies, "No." They then proceed to watch more tv.

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Whats worse than runing over a box of kittens? Runing over two boxes of kittens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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