A black man, an Asian man, and an American man are in a car. Who is driving? The black man, it's his car.

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What did the pear say to the plum? Nobody knows - the plum was deaf and didn't hear, the pear knows only dirty words in sign language, and there was nobody else around to overhear.

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? Same ones he got last year.

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What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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So a man walks into a bar, He says, "Hey bartender! Can I have some beer?" The bartender says, "Sure!" and hands the man a Bud Light. The man drinks the Bud Light and leaves afterward.

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I like big butts and I cannot lie. You don't know that. I may enjoy skinny butts. I may be lying.

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what has small feet? a human being with a tiny proximity of feet matter.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John. John Anderson. Dude we've been friends since first grade! You really don't remember me? I'm going home!

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A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

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what is the difference between Stephani and a whale? A whale is skinnier... get the harpoonns

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who is mark

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All your base are belong to us. Shame on you for making fun of the Japanese. They can't help their broken English sometimes. How would you like it if someone were to nitpick about every single word you typed? Yeah, bet you wouldn't like that, would you? Would it make you feel a bit more guilty to know these people suffered through a horrible earthquake and tsunami - and still managed to survive? Huh? Or that they continue to outshine most other countries in the world in the field of high-technology? Sure, maybe they DID blow up Pearl Harbor in 1941 and send us reeling into another World War. Everyone makes mistakes. Based on the past, "All your base are belong to us" seems pretty trivial now, doesn't it? Go apologize to a Japanese man right now, and never speak of this again.

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What would people call Michael Jackson if he became president? Probably President Jackson

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whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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Why can't Brent speak at the moment? Because he is eating his ice-cream.

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what do you call a black person in the dark? ........invisible

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Q: What did Yoda do at the end of star wars when he lost his light saber? A: He asked the prop guy if he had any more and he happened to have another and they went on with making the great film many still love today.

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what do you call a gay guy in a sleeping bag? a fruit roll-up. GET IT? because gay guys like fruit roll-ups.

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What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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How do you make people run? When someone is behind you, hold the door open and wait.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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