Nohypocondrism: When you feel fine and everyone keeps telling you you are a sick bastard. Charisma: Hey, that guy that changed my life killed the neighbor, cool rite? I mean that damn neighbor did say nothing to me when I said hi. Solitude: When the room is so overcrowded that you feel small and alone. I think that people that are jack of all trades and master of none are stupid... I AM JACK OF NO TRADES AND MASTER OF ALL! I am nothing, because nothing lives on forever, nothing is unbreakable, nothing is really awesome on a terrible day... I am also Nobody, because Nobody has more money than me.. FUUUUUUUU..

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What's that in the road.... a-head?

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What is Soulja Boy's favorite letter? I don't know. You go ask him.

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What did the fat lady order at McDonalds? Nothing because she forgot here wallet at home.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? She said she can do 3

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What's more funny than an anti-joke? A joke.

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What is the meaning of life? 42

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Three men of different ethnic and socio-economic upbringings enter a pub. A strange situation befalls them or a question is posed. The first two respond in turn, in manners typical of their profession or educational background. The third, however, either draws on his specific expertise and responds so as to outwit the others, or makes an egregious and pun-filled blunder, leaving himself open to mockery by his peers.

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What's not funny? Today's anti-joke writers

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Whats faster that a Mexican with your TV? A speeding bullet.

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How did the child cross the road? He couldn't his legs had been lost in an awful car accident that had killed his whole family.

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What did the black man say to the asian man? hello.

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Your chicken just went across the road. What does this tell you about the economy?

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I was going to post some witty jokes, but then I realized they weren't funny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was an object of great appeal to him on the other side.

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Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Richard.

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A blonde walks into a bar... ...she got rufeed.

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What is the science of classifying living things? Racism...

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What's white and capable of flash photography? A pony, I lied about the photography.

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What's black & sits at the top of the staircase? A quadriplegic after a house fire.

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What time does lunch usually begin on the other side of the world. Noon.

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Knock Knock. Whose there. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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