please dis this joke, I want to get to the bottom of the leaderboard!

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Whats worse than burning jews? jews that are alive

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whats red and bad for your teeth... A brick.

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Why did the black man get pulled over by a cop? He was driving 12 miles over the speed limit.

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What does Pontiac stand for? Nothing. Pontiac's were discontinued

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why did the chicken cross the road? dunno. i wasnt there.

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how did the man die from falling out of the window his angry x- friend pushed him.

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Tiny timmy likes timmy turner in his time of tingling on christmas.

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What happened when the man killed a baby? He was captured by the authorities and sentenced to life in prison.

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Emergency call: - Please help, my little son swallowed a condom! 5 minutes later - It is ok, I found another one.

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There were two smokestacks, a little one and a big one. One day, the little one said to the big one, "I'm tired of being the lesser of two smokestacks!"

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who was the alien over LA? adalia rose

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Did you hear about the deaf kid? He didn't.

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How do you spell eight? 8

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What is worse than running away from a rapist? Getting raped by a rapist.

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sally was hit by a bus and lost both arms knock knock who's there? not sally

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Sorry not thinking here, of course I will arrive sooner, give me 20 minutes or so (got to scout the area, you never know) As for coding, there is no hidden meaning so yeah... That is probably some "Neronist" coding format I never knew of I am using so well. Cant drive like this, so I will use a cab and wait for you at the back seat or something, I will let the Taxi cab honk the numbers of code here so you can come out knowing its safe. I sincerely thought you where at the home, according to our coordinates you are... Dont tell me that bastard built some basement over there, wow! I really miss him now, if nothing else because I would have liked a wine cellar made in less than... Sorry, ill be there asap, 20 minutes or less, nah, believe me, "fancy" is the least of things I want, and I wont be changing my mind anytime soon. See ya. I am sincerely surprised you even remember me, then again I look a lot like your crush. Abel (in case you where wondering, this is not my name either, but you get the picture by now)

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What do you call a fat person with no friends? An individual who is over the expected weight of a person their age, who finds themselves disliked by people in their s surroundings, possibly due to their weight problem, but also it may be because of any personality defects they may have, or they simply may prefer to be alone.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Tell her to inform the police that her significant other is assaulting them and that she should file a restraining order.

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Fun Fact getting married to your first cousin is legal in CT... bet you thought there was joke coming right about now..........

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What happened to the man who jumped into a puddle? He contracted hypothermia due to the low temperatures of the water. He died the next day.

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Are you from Tennessee? Cause my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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How did the man jumping out of the plane at 33,000 feet survive? Because he had a parachute

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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